Ha once again... guess it seems i just can't help it when it comes to this. Had been thinking about writing this for quite some time now, but didn't actually know what exactly to pen down. It had been for quite a few months that I had been feeling quite a bit dis-oriented, well not sure if that word would spell out the whole range of emotions and disturbed state i had been through. Well will keep you updated in case i come up with a better word or phrase :).
So yeah, maybe i think it's after coming to this island city that some sort of a realization hit me that, well you are all alone in this world some sort of an associated feeling akin to that. Thought it to be a by product of being plucked out of the hearth and home atmosphere, cultural shock (though i am not sure if it was that i was shocked by the culture or if the culture was shocked by me).
Probably its this cultural and social settings that made me realize the inevitable, at least out here you are out by yourself. It feels quite strange when you suddenly finds in a new skewed kind of cultural aspect where you find out that your relationships are based on your availability and not the other way around. Maybe it was high time for me to pull up my socks and rethink about my priorities in life. It could be quite true also the way i finally had to see things, well not to the whole extend but then again your 'self' is what it matters most. But seriously is that how it is, is that what life is all about? I have had people tell me so all through my life and then again when did i seriously follow what someone else said. Confused might not explain the full range of turmoil that i am going through now. Hope to sort through this inexplicable tangle quite soon.
Either way it's quite nice to come to junctions like this in life where you get to reevaluate those values and belief systems that you had followed so far. Or even better maybe i should say - Thank you for the Cross, My friend.